I Can Haz Don McLean?

I CAN HAZ DON MCLEAN?

(to the tune of The Day the Music Died)

It wuz a long, long time ago
When moosic still maded Happy Cat smile
I knowed if I had a chanse
I cud makeded teh hoomans dance
And dey wud be like Happy Cat fer a while.

But teh cold months, tehy maded meh hungry
Wif every election ad hoomans brung meh
Wuz depressing to see dat crap
Not even a mousie in teh trap

Iz not sure whut I ated
But all dat coverage I sure hated
Wif passion burning deep inside
Teh day, teh cheezburger died.

So,
Oh hai. Miss Cheezburger Pie
Kitteh hates Ur TV and
Teh doggie must die.
But teh press is still writing blogs
And until November 5
I no can haz cheezburger pie.

Kitteh no can haz cheezburger pie.


Kitteh red teh Book of Love
And haz faith in Ceiling Cat above
Teh intrawebs tells him so
You believes in all Ur told
Teh president can saves ur soul
And teach to us how to put on showz

All media in luff wif dem
All day talks about her and hims
Dere campgain busses on teh news
All dis talk gifs kitteh teh blues

Nobody has feeded meh
Dey only wants to watch TV.
Iz hiding under UR setee
Until Novemeber 5.

So,
Oh hai. Miss Cheezburger Pie
Kitteh hates Ur TV and
Teh doggie must die.
But teh press is still writing blogs
And until November 5
I no can haz cheezburger pie.

Kitteh no can haz cheezburger pie.

Thin-Q! Hope you enjoyed the LOLZ. FYI: my writerly stuff all goes to A Really Nice Murder now.

I Can Haz Edgar Allen Poe?

Once upon afternoon, Iz thinkded time to move self soon
An getz off teh couch to look outz door
Butz then I starts to kitteh napping,
if teh dawg wud quit hiz wagging
Every time hiz tail hits teh floor.
I iz annoyed an nuffin more.

mebbe November (iz just cant member) mebbe wuz December.
Or mebbe just dat it waz winter cuz sno outside mah door
I wisheded dat it was Caturday an all gud kittehs cud haz play
Or mebbe mouse or somefin to eat
I needed sum gud kitteh treats
I wished I can haz cheeezburger

I hearded sounds like paper toyz
Dis mebbe prey dat I can scare wif ROAR!
Or other kittehs here to play. Oh joyz!
But sumfing gud waz making noise.
Quick before dere is no moar…
I can has opened door?


Mah hooman can be way too slow.
He only haz two legs u knowz.
So I nipz his ankles an bitez his toez, Den
Faster to teh door he goez but stoopid dawg
He iz in tow and follows hooman to teh door.
Teh dawg must die and nuffin more.

I hatez teh cur so much it makeded all mah fur
Stand on end espushully when teh hooman giveded him frankfurter
Before he finally goez to teh door and opens to see teh stare
Of Basement Cat who standing dere scared dawg under furniture.
Quoth teh kitteh, "Cheezburger."