I Can Haz Teh Eagles?

Hotel Kitteh For Ya (sung to tune of Hotel California)

Iz on a desert highway, wif wind on my tail
I smell teh roadside attrakshuns, dey smell like ginger ale
An den ahead I see a shimuring lite
I can haz mah sleepz now?
I haz to stop fer teh nite.

Dere's a hooman in teh doorway
I hearded teh dinnur bell.
An I thinkeded to meself:
Will dez feed me well?

I followz her to dinnur table
An thinkeded I hear sumone say:

Well, iznt dat teh Hotel Kitteh for ya?
Such a lovely space (oh hai. Lovely place)
Hooman haz lovely face.
Dere no cheezburgerz in the Hotel Kitteh for ya.
Some udder time of year,
U could find 'em here.

But mah dinner I misseded, I haz got hunger bendz.
U haz some tasty guests here. Are doez bunnehz Ur frends?
Bunnehz dance in teh courtyard, an I still hazn'et eatin yet
Some bunneh dance to remember, Some bunneh dance to forget

Iz callded to teh waiter
Bring meh ur best wind
He claimz dey haz no spirits since 1969
But still I asks fer cheezzburger. I no eatin all dis day.
My belleh iz all emptee
But I heared teh voices say…

Well, iznt dat teh Hotel Kitteh for ya?
Such a lovely space (oh hai. Lovely place)
Hooman haz lovely face.
Dere no cheezburgerz in the Hotel Kitteh for ya.
Ur bunnehs iz gone? Say dats a surprize.
Good thing I broughted mah alibis.

Why dere mirrors on teh ceiling?
Oh hai. Dey lookz reel nice.
Teh hooman says teh cheezburgers
Was taken by some mice.

But hooman takes me to the kitchen
We haz gathered for the feast
I see teh mouse all running around.
Why nobody kill the beast?

I thinkeded I had enuff so
I runned fer teh door.
I tried to find mah way out
To where I wuz before.

Iz okay, the hooman tellz me
Dere lotz of gud things to reads.
You can cook any time U wantz
But the cheezburgerz U cant eat.